


Horny Hijinks

by MoonlightIcarus



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean Winchester, Bottom Sam Winchester, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dirty Talk, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Filthy, Horns, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn, Riding, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Smut, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Crowley (Supernatural), Top Gabriel (Supernatural), Top Gabriel/Bottom Sam Winchester, Witch Curses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22303900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightIcarus/pseuds/MoonlightIcarus
Summary: Bobby, Sam, and Dean are hunting a witch who hits then with a curse that causes them to sprout horns on their heads. And wouldn't you know it the only way to get rid of them is through sex.I fixed many of the grammatical errors so this is actually readable now.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Crowley/Bobby Singer, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 137





	Horny Hijinks

"Fuck Bobby how do we deal with this." Dean was furious even though it wasn't his fault.

"I'm working on it, but there's only so much recorded information about a curse that randomly makes horns sprout form your head."

"Technically I have antlers." Sam added over speaker phone.

"I've only been able to find one thing, and it's a curse that causes random animal parts to grow from your body."

"Okay, and how is that not exactly what were having to deal with?" Dean's impatience was annoying as it always was.

"Well I didn't want to settle on this because the only way to get rid of it is to have sex with another person." And then the pin had dropped.

....

Crowley was exceptionally happy with this. Robert looking like some costumed whore at a strip club with those large bull horns protruding from the side of his head just above his ears. Just last night he had toyed with them and found that Robert could certainly feel them and judging by the erection he had developed he could get off on the sensation as well. But, he had been careful not to toy with him for too long. Crowley was familiar with the way this specific curse functioned and he knew that as soon as Robert orgasmed with another person the horns would disappear altogether. He would only get one chance at this and he needed to capitalize on it

Even as he talked on the phone to moose and squirrel, Crowley continued his little strokes over the top of them. Only giving the barest touch with the tip of his index finger. There were plenty of huffs and deep inhales coming from those chapped, aged lips for him to know that what he was doing was having the desired effect on the hunter. All he needed now was for Robert to put down the phone so he could enjoy the other man.

The longer their conversation went on for the firmer his touches became until Robert was unknowingly groping his own hard cock through his jeans. He apparently noticed at one point and then abruptly ended the call to turn and scold Crowley, or at leased turned as well as he could under the circumstances. His head only turned a bit before Crowley and his strong grip on those bull horns stopped him and he was forced to resign and look ahead again.

“The fuck are you doing?”

“Why I’m only helping like you asked me to do.”

God, his face was punchable at times. Probably even more so if he could see the sly expression he knew was there. “That don’t mean you get to be a distraction during one of my phone calls.”

“Well then tell me. Why did you call me here so early? You could have easily laid yourself out in bed for me, just open and waiting for my cock to slid into that nice arse of yours. That would have been faster but instead you called me here before any of that. Do you really think I was just going to sit around while you waste your time on the phone?”

“Shut up.” His wittier comebacks died on his tongue from this delicious torment. “We can do things now if you want. Have ya got the patience to open me up?”

“Robert I’m afraid I’m out of patience entirely. I'll settle for a blowjob and then next time I’ll fuck you within an inch of sanity.” He kept up the teasing on those new appendages, watching the hunter’s erection twitch under the thick material of his jeans.

He didn’t respond just stood and thankfully Crowley let go of the horns and let him do so unimpeded. Then he turned around and dropped to his knees, thankful for the mat he had installed behind his desk given all the times they did things like this in the library. Crowley’s massive cock was out of his dress pants already and he only had a moment to think before those hands he returned to the horns on his head, leading him forward. Dragging him down like he needed any other reason to go down on the demon.

He pulled Robert down against him, choking him on his hardened appendage and using those horns as a grip to hold him in place. Robert was forced to relax his throat if he wanted to keep breathing around him.

“Oh, Robert this is better than I would have thought, I can’t let this end here. I’ll have to remember to do this again with you sometime.” 

His attempts at protesting were muffled and incomprehensible from the large cock in his mouth, but the vibrations it created only pleased Crowley more.

“Love, that feels so good, why don’t you try swallowing around me and I’ll rub your horns for you.” He demonstrated by twisting his hand over it like you would do when revving a motorcycle and it produced a pleasurable groan from Bobby. “Yes! That’s so good.”

Bobby had resigned himself to this (mostly) willingly. He didn’t like the way he was being forced into giving a blowjob, but the harsh tugs and pulls against those pain in the ass horns were clouding his thoughts and making him desperate. There was a part of him that was pushing to try cuming without touching himself and the longer Crowley did those teasing ministrations the more agreeable the idea sounded to him.

Crowley pushed Bobby's head back off of his cock halfway before pulling him back down, with Bobby’s nose pressed against his pelvis. When it was repeated Bobby realized he needed to hold onto something and he slid his hands up the back of Crowley’s calves. Reaching the swell of his ass he pushed his pants and underwear down to grip the meat of his ass in his hands, squeezing his cheeks each time he was forced back down onto that cock again, which in turn made Crowley stroke his horns again, blurring his thoughts in a pleasant daze.

Months ago, he wouldn’t have believed he’d ever do something like this, and honestly he couldn’t have done something like this. His experience with other men was almost nonexistent at that point, but now that he and Crowley had this thing between them going on, him and Crowley had exchanged plenty of blowjobs in the past (as well as a fair number of other sexual acts and favors). Now, he felt an almost pride at being able to take the demon down in one go, but that really wasn’t an accomplishment he felt like talking about with anyone, including Crowley.

Here he was on the floor on his library getting his throat used by the king of hell while he squeezed his nice ass each time he had to deepthroat him. Crowley had moved to stroking over those horns like he could stroke his cock when giving him a hand job and it was definitely working for him.

Somewhere in there he started pulling and pushing Crowley’s ass together which always made him use harsher, more desperate thrusts. Bobby knew he wouldn’t be making any phone calls for a few days, but he was so close to getting off. He was trying to get that little extra push he needed.

He was too preoccupied with his own desperation to notice how Crowley had moved one of his feet between his legs and stepped on his still clothed cock, giving him what he needed and making him cum inside his jeans. He pressed into it, milking him for all he was worth as he whimpered from it. The act made his throat constrict and Crowley began to fill his mouth as well.

Suddenly he wasn’t being held up anymore and his face was just resting against Crowley’s body. That cock still in his mouth but it was starting to soften as he came down from his high.

Normally, Crowley would demand he swallow all of his cum, no matter how much there was or how thick it was. He enjoyed watching his Adam's apple bob with each laborious swallow, then he liked to taste himself on the lips by plundering his mouth and claiming it for his own.

This time though he only pulled out and Bobby was resigned to rest his weight on his haunches. The cum was mixing with his excess saliva and dribbling down his dick. Combine that with his glazed over eyes and relaxed posture and Crowley snapped a picture of it to savor the moment.

“I hope you realize I plan on sticking some more horns on your head and doing this all over again.”

....

"Gabriel." Sam groaned out. It was partially a moan and partially a complaint. 

"Sammy, I'm just doing what you asked me to do. If you didn't want me to fuck you then you shouldn't tell me you need sex to get rid of these things."

When Sam had been told than he needed to have sex to remove the large moose antlers he was sporting, he had no hesitation before summoning Gabriel with a prayer explaining the situation. Of course the angle chose to complicate things and use his grace to suddenly flip Sam over onto the war room table he had been standing next to as well as stripping him naked and plunging straight into his ass.

Sam could only moan at the spontaneous fucking, but Gabriel was really good at said fucking, so he was only able to get his name out before it was lost amongst a cacophony of moans.

He was gripping for purchase on the smooth table, but he couldn’t manage to reach the edge because of the way Gabriel was pulling on those antlers, forcing him to form a large crescent shape with his back. The fine muscles there rippled and flex under the pressure, tremors were resonating through his body every time Gabriel chose to thrust back into him. He was somehow glistening with sweat even though their fun had only begun a moment ago.

Gabe was torn, the ability to pull back Sam's head like that was a rare opportunity, but he wanted to mess up Sam’s hair and get him looking like a whore after a full night of work. He loved to make his partners look good and fucked, baring the evidence of their activities to the world. He settled for sliding his hands closer to the center of Sam's head, down to where the hard bone like material came into contact with his skull and got clumps of hair between his thumb and index finger, worrying the strands between them, and letting the dampness there keep it in its ruined state.

Similar things had occurred between them before, usually involving Gabriel yanking at his hair, which always got Sam moaning and guaranteed he would look disheveled after all was said and done. Even with the familiar actions they were going through Sam found himself moaning freely at the pleasure he was being given.

With their current set up his cock was shoved between his torso and the war room table. He was rutting into it as he tried to get himself off, even if he knew Gabriel would always stop him from letting go until he had his own fill of things.

“Sammy, you should keep these. They’ve got you acting more ravenous and louder than usual.”

Was he acting different? Sam hadn’t noticed a change in behavior, mainly from his extreme desire to have these antlers removed. He woke up that morning to find one of them had broken through his bed because he went to sleep on his side, and then he tore up the mattress trying to pull it out.

“Uhhh.” Words still eluded him as the fucking continued, and it had Gabriel giggling in his own demented way. 

His head was pulled back each time Gabriel put his full weight into a thrust. Those were always the hardest to deal with because it guaranteed that his prostate would be hit, and with how his back was arched it felt like his desperate plea was being shouted toward the heavens. He would have prayed for mercy, but the person he was praying to was the one who was tormenting him.

Suddenly the squelching of his ass was louder and more pronounced. Another of the angel’s favorite tricks, adding more lube to his ass mid way through. It gave the feel of being filled with cum, but without him actually having to achieve orgasm and therefore elongating their fun.

Sam began to feel lightheaded. It was a common thing he had to deal with when he was so aggressively aroused. His cock was large and that meant that as his arousal rose, and blood moved south to fill his cock, reducing the flow to his brain. Once he had passed out mid-way into a round of sex and Gabe just ended up riding him to completion in his unconscious state. 

Black spots were forming in his vision and he managed a single, “Gabe.” Amid the other sounds filling the cavernous room. His own moans were echoing off the walls back at him and the grunts Gabe let out were resonating and filling his ears as if he was coming at him from all possible angles.

“Do you need to cum, sweetheart?”

Sam managed a nod but it was barely discernable with the harsh hold on those antlers that stuck out of his head.

“Can you last just a bit longer? I want us to get off at the same time, but I’m not ready yet.” 

If those words came from anyone else Sam wouldn’t have listened to them but because it was Gabe he stilled his hips to stave off his orgasm. The only friction he got now was the residual kind from when Gabriel would push into him again.

Gabe shoved Sam down onto the table and started to pound into him without any mercy. Shaking his entire body and the table itself with his actions. This was the way Gabe preferred to end things, carnal and possessive of his lover. Creating an ache inside of them once he pulled out that would remain in the days that followed. There was something about doing it to Sam that made him like it more, claiming someone twice his size had a certain satisfactory appeal to it and leaving the other man debauched was a good way to satisfy that desire.

“Cum!” It was only a single word and it came out as an absolute command with no room for debate.

Even without any additional friction Sam did as he was told and he saw white when his throbbing cock squired between the table and his stomach. Gabriel came at the same time as promised but he didn’t linger inside of him to enjoy his afterglow.

Gabe pulled lout of that hole and saw the way his cum and the lude was slowly trickling out of Sam’s hole and down onto his balls before climbing up onto the table to enjoy his prize. He laid down on top of Sam as he breathing began to even out, the reassuring weigh on him was relaxing him into an unconscious state.

....

Dean was the most hesitant about “resolving” the issue with the horns. A small part of it was that he just had is easier than both Bobby and Sam did. Where they had to deal with wide horns (and antlers) that stuck out from the sides of their heads and forced them to walk sideways through any door ways he had some Billy goat horns sticking out of his forehead and curving back halfway over his skull.

They did have their own issues though. It added three inches to his overall height which doesn’t sound like something that would be all that annoying to deal with since Sam was even taller than that and he got through life just fine, but the way they affected him was difficult to pin down. Naturally he wasn’t supposed to have anything on top of his head like that so it affected both his overall balance, and his estimate of how low something was. His eyes were still in the same place, but his height had changed which fucked up any concept of his height that he had established over the years.

Then there were the three shirts he accidentally tore to shreds. The pointly little tips dount haller to be sharp but when he tried to put on or take off a tee shirt or henley they would get gaping holes in them. On te fourth try he actually succeeded in getting dressed without any collateral damage, but it took a while and Dean wasn't known for his patience.

All of that and it still wasn’t the primary reason for his hesitance. No, that was because he would need to bring Cas into this.

Well technically he could have found someone else to help him with it, but that would involve explaining the whole horn situation to someone, and that wasn’t going to fly well with any normal person, so it was really Castiel or bust.

Dean couldn’t articulate why he didn’t want to bring Cas into this, but he just didn’t want to do it. He’d dealt with witch curses in the past and they had sex before so why was it that bringing the two of them together had him so anxious? He honestly didn’t know, if he knew he would have done something about it so he could go ahead and get it over with.

For three days Dean still kept the horns on his head even though Sam had his gone by the first night and apparently Bobby had done something similar with Crowley. Dean was still uneasy about their relationship, but Bobby was happy and he would let the man make his own decisions regarding his love life.

Thoughts like these provided great distractions from his procrastination when it came to Cas. There had been full conversations between the two of them but he never brought the necessary sex thing up. Dean assumed that Cas had been told the just of everything by Sam since he wouldn’t breach the topic either. It was obnoxiously considerate of him, but Dean wished he would just be more assertive and take the decision out of his hands since he didn’t want to deal with it. He liked his lovers aggressive and he straight up needed that right now.

Dean’s desire was answered the next night after he had finished up his pre sleep routine. He'd just entered his bedroom in his pajama pants and tee shirt, only to be greeted by Cas sitting (and looking rather angrily at him) on the edge of the bed in only his boxers.

“Dean I love you but you are one of my father dumbest creations.” It came at ad a grown in that rough voice.

Oh shit! Cas was angry and an angry Cas was also a really sexy Cas that could get Dean desperate for a good fucking real fast.

“S-Sorry Cas.” He hadn't even done anything really and Dean was going shy on him. Even with all his sexual escapades he wasn't good at processing someone else instigating sex and it left him flustered more often than not.

He gave Dean one of his “full angel of the lord ready to smite you down at a single moment stares” which had mixed result in how Dean took it. He was growing hard in his pants at the image before him, but also shaking ever so slightly at the sheer intimidation factor of it.

The intense judgmental eye contact continued as Cas approached Dean and stopped when he stood only a foot away from the other man.

“Strip.”

Dean’s clothes were virtually flying from his body as he bared himself for the angle. Cas could have used his grace to get the other man naked much faster, but he enjoyed seeing the desperate, frenzied way Dean took his clothes off when he was instructed to do so.

The process didn’t take long given that Dean wasn’t exactly wearing an elaborate outfit when this all started. The only issue was when Dean's shirt managed to get stuck in the horns, but it was freed soon enough anyway. Soon everything was crumpled into a pile by his feet. His now fully hard cock sticking up from arousal with his hands by his side.

Cas stared at his erection and the way precum had begun to slowly gather at his slit, before he flicked at the exposed head of the cock with his fingers, causing that slowly forming bead of precum to make its decent downward. It was the first of what Cas planned to be plenty of drops that would eventually leave his cock shining in its own fluids.

Even such minimal teasing had managed to get a groan out of Dean, and if things went how Cas wanted them to then Dean would be letting out numerous noises with what was to come next.

He flicked the head again, letting another bead fall before pulling back and staring into Deans eyes yet again. “Dean, do you want me to help you with your problem?”

“Yes.” Dean wanted to look away in shame at how desperate he sounded, but that glare had him entranced as if he had lost all control of his own body.

Cas heard his plea and sat back on his spot at the edge of the bed. “They lay yourself over my lap. I’ll need to stretch you out properly before I can fuck you, Dean.”

He wasn’t sure his knees would last the few steps to the bed. Hearing Cas, the angel of the lord, swearing was such a taboo that he was shocked and unbelievably horny each time it happened. By some miracle he got there in just three shaky steps before Cas help him to lay across his lap.

The time between the sound of a plastic cap being opened and a finger being shoved fully into his ass was almost imperceivably small. The lude was cold, but he like the cold rush, it had never failed to bring a deep red shade to his cheeks at the sudden feeling of it.

Cas fully pulled his finger out before going back in with two the second time around. The burn had Dean moaning and rutting pitifully into the Cas’s thigh.

“Careful Dean. You don’t want to get off too early and then ruin the fun for later.”

“No. No, I don’t.”

“Good, then stay still.” It was punctuated by Cas aggressively scissoring him open. Long digits reaching deep inside of him to prepare Dean for that cock he loved so much. They were brought together again and they started to fuck into him, just grazing over his prostate each time, never pressing fully into it. Still this was enough to get Dean drooling and begging with his face pressed into the sheets.

“Cas, Please…” What he was begging for was unknown but he knew he needed more.

The unfinished begging was answered as Cas slipped a third finger into him, renewing that familiar burn that had nearly faded from Dean’s senses. The torment continued on in that same way, slow and deliberate to get Dean wanton and desperate for when he would be riding Cas in a moment. The actions were still careful, even if they both liked the tight stretch and burn they still had to avoid one of them getting hurt during sex.

To soothe Dean through it, Cas stroked a hand through his already bedraggled hair. He then started to stroke those horns with the index finger on his free hand and he noted the way Deans body trembled with the motion. Cas changed his grip so that his horns now had more of his focus than actually fingering Dean open, but Dean would be able to adjust to the feeling on his own now. Cas handt crossed the line into being distracted, simply preoccupied by this new development.

Just when Cas thought Dean was approaching the edge he removed both his hands from that perspiring body. “Get up Dean. You’ll be riding me tonight.” Dean stood lazily but most of his weight was being put into his hands where they were pressed against the bed.

As soon as he could stand Cas scooted back onto the bed and propped his head up on the pillows. From this position he gave himself a few strokes with his lube filled hand to get himself nice and before resigning to watch Dean climb onto his law and straddle his thighs. 

His cock slipped into the crease of Dean’s ass for only a moment as he rubbed back and forth over that waiting hole. Dean pushed up on heavy limbs and managed to get the hard appendage lined up with his hole as he slowly came down on it.

The action brought with it an intense pressure around his cock and his horns so Dean pulled off of Cas slightly and fell down again, only to get the same result.

With each decent down onto that fine cock Dean felt both his own cock and his horns being squeezed and compressed. Cas was using his grace to imitate the feeling of being ridden, just in a much more lewd and intense way.

This wasn’t the first time they had done it either. More often than not when Dean was getting fucked Cas used his grace to stimulate his dick and get him off, but having that sensation tripled had Dean shuddering in his seat on Cas’s lap.

“Dean, I don’t recall telling you to stop.”

“S-Sorry Cas. It’s a lot.”

“I know Dean that’s why I’m doing it.” He stroked his thumb into the meat of Dean’s thigh. "I want to ruin you.”

The words had Dean clenching down and he felt the action mirrored on the horns and his dick. He threw his head back and moaned at that, needing some way to express the utter relief and lust he felt flowing through him.

Finally, having gathered his energy Dean pulled up off that cock leaving only the head in his ass, but he was too tired to hold himself up like that, and he quickly fell back down again, hitting his prostate with the action.

The next time he managed it, Cas thrust up into him causing Dean to lose his focus and fall back down. It was an onslaught to make a mess out of him. From all the teasing earlier and this now he was already so close to cuming, Yet the prospect of doing this again wasn't out of his mind.

In an act of mercy Cas wrapped a hand around his cock and squeezed it in addition to what his grace was already doing. “You’ve done well Dean, now just cum whenever you feel like it.”

Cas then began his harsh strokes that were mirrored onto Deans horns and with the was Cas had his cock pressed right against his prostate it only took a short moment before he was seeing white as pleasure overcame him.

Dean was resting his body on Cas’s torso. He could feel the way Cas came in his ass, but his cock was still inside of him and still hard to book. The best part though was that the horns were now gone from his head.

Dean was almost sad it was over, seeing as he had so much fun getting screwed like that,

“Just because you don’t need this anymore doesn’t mean we need to stop anytime soon, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments. I'm always happy to read what you liked and what you didn't.


End file.
